This wasn't in the job description...

First off...

Hi!

 I'm not even going to apologize for the...ummm...sabbatical...?? I've taken.

Let's just start fresh!

I am A Cynical Romantic and I write used to write a blog.

I've had some crazy life changes since the last time I wrote so I feel it's only fitting to change it up here too.

Coming soon:

CONSISTENT posts

new look

and slightly new subject matter.

I'm a teacher now!

Lemme hear a WOOOHOOO!

Which, for you readers, means no one posts complaining about not being valued in the workplace blah blah blah.

Now I'll complain about tiny humans! JK!

I teach 4th grade ELA now and I LOVE IT!

Well...I'm learning to love it.

Let me put it this way-I love parts of it!

Other parts are much more of an adjustment!

Oh! and there's ALOT, I mean ALOT, of extra work that goes into it!

So all my fellow teachers out there, you are WonderWoman! And your gold cuffs/bracelet things help you ward off cray parents, every cold under the sun, and mental breakdowns.



See the cuffs of greatness!
Oh and the lasso comes in handy when your kids get out of control!



So referring to my title, I am finding out I have actually been hired to do more than just teach.

After six weeks these are the other jobs I have mastered!

1.Nurse

Despite having one on site, to my kids I can fix any ailment and  fix it better than the actual nurse can.  

2. Therapist

I was actually a psych minor so this is slightly ironic to me. I listen and listen and listen and listen to their problems (school and non-school related) all.day.long.

Luckily for me I can fix most of them.

3. Math and Science Teacher

Most of you who are reading this are aware of my transfer and know that I was teaching math and science. I don't teach that anymore but this is what kids think "Teacher...she must know every assignment I have and when it's due."

When I was teaching math and science they assumed I knew what to do with their ELA work too.

I have been in the middle of an writing assignment and a kid raising their hand and asks, "When's our science project due?"

ENTER EYE ROLL.

4. Encyclopedia

Did you know there's a 5th ocean now?

It happened a few years ago, there is now the Southern ocean.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Ocean

I told my students that there was a typo when a question asked to list the five oceans. I said it should say four. All 22 of them corrected me. At the same time.

Face meet palm.

How the hell am I suppose to know they changed geography. Like MAJOR geography. I must have missed that new story on CNN.com.

5. A hugger

This one is cheesy and I love it! There are approximately 1,000 tiny humans at my school and the vast majority are huggers. And they don't care if you're their teacher. They hug. They hug you after you've yelled at them. They hug you when they leave your room. They hug you when they come back to your room. They hug you if they see you walk by them. I swear 50 % of my school day is spent hugging. If hugging was on the STAAR test they'd get 4s. (To my non-teachers, that's a perfect writing score.)

Six weeks in and I'm tired and happy and annoyed and grouchy and overjoyed and stressed and humbled and proud and a leader.

Six weeks in: I'm a teacher.

(let me hear the collectively "awwww"....or the collectively barf sounds...depending how cheesy you like your blog posts)

If you're reading thanks!

I'll be consistent!

All my love

XOXO

Ms. Moore



Fix You

I feel like my last couple of posts have been started with me saying how bad of a blogger I've been....

Well apparently I still am!

BUT

I have made a 'resolution' so to speak to write at least twice a week!

Who's excited??

I'm assuming I still have followers/readers...but I understand this is highly unlikely!

I've realized  how much stuff I have let fall to the wayside lately.

Writing-cooking-working out-finishing goals-enjoying life (I never said this wasn't going to be cheesy)

And in place of those things I've been consumed with my "problems".

Speaking as a genuinely positive person most of the time, I've been sad or upset or complacent.

It still amazes me how easy it is to get off track or let a minor speed bump cause so much trouble.

Do I  have issues? Yes!

Are they going to cause the end of the world? No!

I have been dealt shitty hands in the past and I have always managed to work through it!

Everything that is going on now is minute.

It won't effect the big picture...all it will do is distract me from it for a little bit.

We can control more than we think we can.

We are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

We have all the tools to get through things. And yes even the really hard things.

But why is it so easy to let them effect us so much?

Are we all masochists?

Are we scared?

Is it easier to throw in the towel?

I'm going to go with yes.

I've pulled myself out of a dark place before and it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

There always that chance of screwing up or falling back down and that fear alone keeps us from trying.

For me, I wasn't happy.

Plain and simple.

I tried to blame others for it.

I made excuses like no other.

But at the end of the day, I wasn't happy because I wasn't trying to be.

Once I started trying and working at it life got easier.

I could look past the problems and see the bigger picture.

So I get mad at myself when the small things take over.

Sooooooooo my goal for the new year is (warning cliche saying coming at you) Don't sweat the small stuff!

Move over problems!

I'm making room for everything else.

I plan to play soccer again.

Cook more.(I know a lot of people who are excited about that)

Write more!

Love more.

Take more pictures.

Laugh more!

Plan more!

Turn negatives into positives. Example- I am broke. I've been thinking about making that a new 'theme' to my blog...tales of a broke twenty-something. More entertainment for y'all!

Have more fun!

Be extremely thankful for everything I do have, most importantly, my support system! These people rock my world!

So everyone, take a step back and figure out the big picture.

What do you really want?

And work for that.

Don't let anything get between you and that.

Whether it's love, success, travel, or chocolate.

If it's what you want need to feel like your life has meaning then go for it!

XOXO A Cynical (and broke) Romantic

PS maybe it's time I drop the cynical

The Truth about Blogging

I'm going to throw some serious blog knowledge at you folks!

Or at least how blogging pertains to me!

I am not that honest on here.

I probably write about 8% of my life.

That's right you are missing out on 92% of A Cynical Romantic!

Try not to cry!

I was at dinner last night with my friend Audrey and we were talking about writing and whatnot.

She was asking me about blogging and I realized a startling truth, I keep A LOT from you guys!

I'm not trying to be deceitful but honestly I can't write about some things because people I know, aka pretty much everyone who reads this, read it. 

I try to be upbeat, emphasis on try, and there are personal things which are hard to discuss, especially when trying to protect people's privacy.

I sometimes think about having an entirely second blog, that none of you would know about, so I can air everything! But again, I am trying to protect people's privacy!

I have had a big year, good things and upsetting things and you don't know half of it!

But rest assured I will keep you informed as much as I can especially when it pertains to me solely!

I respect blogger's that can really write about every aspect in their life.

Major props ladies!

I can't.

But today here's what I can give you.

I'm:

happy

sad

excited

frustrated

nostalgic

confused

determined

stressed

&

hopeful.

Here's a dream (semi)realized:

I am going to write a book.

Maybe tomorrow.

Or maybe in ten years.

But it will happen!

And yes it will be a love story. No surprise there!

The cynical romantic can write the perfect ending for a fictional story!

Here's my current goal:

Find the positive in every situation.

Thanksgiving was just last week and keeping perspective and being thankful for what I have is truly the most important thing.

Sure there are things I wish I could change and some days I let the self-pity take over, I mean who doesn't have those days, but for every "issue" I have someone has it worse and I should be thankful for what I have.

And I have A MILLION things to be thankful for. So trying to find the good even when it's not an ideal situation is what I will strive for!

xoxo

A Cynical Romantic

Sunday Randoms

My arms hurt!

It hurts typing right now!

It was 'arms' day in my workout routine.

See I have a love/hate relationship with arms day.

I HATE it! Personally

But on the other arm...hahaha workout pun...no....moving on!

The only time I appreciate arms day is when boys workout their arms!

That is heaven!

I'm a bit scatter-brained today hence why my post is called Sunday Randoms!

So enjoy the sporadic thoughts coming your way!

• I canNOT wait for Thanksgiving! Food=good, football=good, family=good! All around very good!

• Shout out to Kendra! What would I do without your hilarious texts to get through the day! You make me pee my pants on the regular! And your son is quite possibly the cutest kid ever! Wonder where he gets it from?? ;)

• Anyone else watching 2 Broke Girls??? If not, you should be! I only aspire to be that witty and clever one day! Oh and they have a horse, in a New York City apt, that's reason enough to watch!

• Why are holidays always so romantic?? Don't get me wrong, deep down I love it, but right now surface-level Ashley is wishing it wasn't so much! There is one commercial that comes on the radio ALL THE TIME. "Are you getting engaged this holiday season??" Every time it comes on I want to shout back, " Dude be more original, getting engaged at Christmas is overdone!" That's my rant. I'm done now! PS Christmas time is my favorite time of year, I'm not the Grinch or anything, just a teensy bit cynical!

• I started studying for another teaching test. This test is the Math 4-8. Holy Cow! I feel really stupid! It's been awhile since I was in a math class. ( I lucked out with my major that I only need one credit and I got that done freshman year) So it's been 6 years since I actually sat in a math class. I am having to re-learn basic math stuff. I don't remember triangles being this difficult when I was in school! But my goal of becoming a 6th/7th grade math teacher is getting closer and closer!

I think my brain is tapped out.

I will have a food post coming soon.

Breakfast Pizza!

What? You wanna see a picture?? Ok!

Honesty

I've been thinking about this post for a LONG time but haven't had the 'courage' to actually write it.

Recently I've realized that not only do I have walls up and a big guard but I am scared.

The thing I want the most is the thing I am most afraid of.

(I'm surprised how hard that was to type.)

**BTW for you slow thinkers I'm talking about the L-word!

(that's a lovely example of the humor I use to hide)

My cynicism and sarcasm and quick humor isn't just to keep people out but I think it's more to protect me.

Aside from family and a few friends not a lot of people know me full-guard-down.

The thing that hurt the most when my ex and I broke up was that he knew everything.

I confided everything. He knew the good things, the bad things, the everythings.

That sense of vulnerability that you feel when you break up with someone who knows you that well is intense. And trust me he used it all against me when we broke up!

I am scared to have someone know me that well again.

Even some friends I keep at arm's length because any fight or disagreement can lead to that vulnerable feeling.

I've looked back at every relationship since then, big or small, and reevaluated how I was with them.

And the overwhelming consensus was that I didn't let them in at all. Maybe I'm the reason they didn't work out because I was too scared at the thought of someone getting that close to me again.

So much so that ex #2 and I dated on and off for two years and "I love yous" were never exchanged.

What does that say?

I know that the people that know ex #2 will blow up my phone telling me that he was a big asshole and it wasn't me at all. But the principle's the same.

The more I've thought about all this I realize what things I tend not to share.

They're 'mood changers.'

The three or four topics that can instantly changed my mood for better or worse.

These people or things aren't discussed much beyond surface level.

A lot of people know about these mood changers but they won't see me vulnerable about them.

Usually they're mentioned as a joke. Humor takes the edge off any serious topic.

I want to share though.

I want that one person who can instantly know my mood just by seeing me.

That knows certain subjects are harder for me to talk about but encourages me to talk.

That knows how to make me happy, or knows what buttons to push.

That wants to be a dork with me.

That wants to adore me.

That lets me take care of them too.

That wants to spend all day Saturday with me.

But....

I'm scared.

This is a step towards me 'guard-down' and I feel slightly more exposed than normal.

xoxo

A Cynical Romantic

Yes, I know, it's been awhile!

The only benefit of my last job was that I was on the computer all.the.time. so writing my blogs were a lot easier!

I  miss writing on here.

So, if I even still have readers, I am sorry I was gone!

I'll try to write more often!

Forgive me??

....

I heard "yes" so let's keeping going!

The last couple of days have kicked my ass.

Nothing specific happened.

Ever have one of those days where it just seems like every issue you have going on all comes up on the same day in one way or another???

At some point yesterday (maybe after a few cocktails....) I got overwhelmed and dumped ALL my problems on my bestie!

Stacy I love you!

The best thing about venting to Stacy is she gives tough love! So today I woke up motivated and said "F*** you" to my issues and didn't dwell on them. The problems I can control-I will work on. The problems I have no control over-I have to stop worrying and just hope things turn out ok.

In other news, I  have one of my best friends in town and I'm going out with him tonight and some friends!

Work is going well....so well I decided to work six days a week for awhile since we're short-handed right now! I may regret this when I yearn for a day to sleep in but for now I need the money!!

My birthday weekend in Austin is coming up! I can't stress enough how much I need a weekend to just do anything and be carefree!! And I can NOT wait to be back in Austin! I miss it so much!

I've been working out like crazy lately to get back in shape and I'm thinking about posting before and after pictures on here. I think I'm crazy for wanting to do this. But I want to be a little vain and show you all my progress! Haha...

I'm not really vain btw!

If anything I would have to be inebriated to actually hit the publish button on that post.

Anyway I have to see if my professional airbrusher will be available to edit my pictures anyway :)

Alright guys after doing 525 crunches (yes you read that correctly, I am crazy serious about getting back in shape) and the rest of my workout I need to shower!

Have a happy Tuesday!

SIGH

I

am

 in

a

funk.

This funk consist of me feeling lonely mostly and having too many thoughts in my head.

My rents are out of town and because I've been working weekends I haven't really gone out and seen mis amigos so it's been me and Lucy.

I got to spend some time with my sister and it was really good.

But, now,  I am back in a funk..

Work is really good but I feel like that's all I have going for me right now.

I am kicking ass at my goals for the month though!

(Beating everyone in the store on deposits, what what!)

Why is it when one area of your life is good another area starts having issues??

Honestly this is starting to annoy me!

For three years it's always been something and I think that I've handle everything the world has thrown my way extremely well. I am a stronger person than I even knew I was but now I would like to be careful and happy.

Completely happy.

(Don't get me wrong, I am happy just not all the way, all the time)

It's always either family, or boys, or friends, or work, or something!

This post is brought to you by my funk...

I'm not this pessimisstic all the time.

I swear!

Ask my friends!

So until the funk passes I will relish it.

Not really though.

Please give me tips/reasons/jokes/aka anythinggg to get me out of this funkalicious mood!

K thanks lovelies!

On a happy note and I am sure she will love me for giving her a shout out in such a 'fun' post but

Audrey aka GN Lover

I heart you!

and you are the bomb.com!

:))))