Here it goes...

Cynical Romantic-this basically means that I was a hopeless romantic once upon a time until (stupid) boys ruined that. Two failed relationships later and I'm officially a cynic (well  by disguise anyway)

Becoming a cynic starts when you get your heart broken for the first time. It feels like getting the wind knocked out of you and you can't breathe. You go through hundreds of emotions all at once; sadness, hatred, confusion, betrayal, etc. You feel stupid and blindsided.

Basically it totally sucks!

Then there's the task of trying to put yourself back together and this seems impossible. You wonder if it's even worth it:

"Am I really going to risk getting my heart broken again?"

Usually you say yes after the first time because you're still an optimist. HA! Then, shockingly, it happens again! And the second time feels even worse.

So now you're a cynic BUT here's the catch! (or at least with me) It still feels wrong not to hope or wish that good things will happen to me. So you disguise the hope with sarcasm and snarky comments. Cyncism is basically the wall you build to protect yourself.

Now all you're waiting for is that person that makes you want to rebuild and try again, roll the dice, put it all out there, all or nothing...you get the picture.

Love is a wonderful thing and I think everyone wants it BUT you don't need it to survive.  I have amazing friends and family and over all a good (yet slightly cyncial) sense of humor and this is what gets me through life. I can't wait to find that one person for me but until then I'm happy with everything I do have.